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I though everyone might like to know what happened so here it is. Perhaps a little wordy or drawnout but this is the way it felt it needed to be recored and said.

December 31^st Ceremony

I suppose I should start from the beginning, which would actually be the evening of the 30^th. I stayed up all night of the 30^th as I was watching the fire and keeping the house warm. We had a snow shower come over us that dropped about an ½ of snow but the sky was filled with clouds and blocked the moon except for a small outline.

I admit it bothered me to a degree seeing as the previous few days we had clear skies and not a sign of precipitation in sight. Yet when I finally lay down around 9:30 it was cloudy and drab outside.

I awoke around 6 p.m. and was really hurting badly. My back felt as if it was on fire as I felt a really deep pain along my spine and deep into my hips. Equally bad was a pain that centered in my stomach and felt like it would double me over every time I moved. Couple that with a sensation of feeling ill and having a temperature and it seemed to indicate a night that would not go off. Well go off as planned anyway.

I knew the moon would rise above the rim around 8 PM and had hoped to have everything in place by then but that was not to happen. The sky being so packed with clouds one could not even see a faint shimmer of the moon's presence. Add that I also fell upon the floor and wife and son had to help me up. I was sweating so badly that my forehead was dripping with moisture and I was hot to the physical touch. Seriously started to wonder if I would be able to perform the ritual I had been planning for the last few weeks.

So I waited and hoped that the sky might clear up. Around 9 p.m. my wife informed me she had to take our son to work as he had forgotten to pick up bottle liners for our grandsons and they only had one left. That pretty much left me to watch the boys and assist our daughter in law, so much for the ritual now I though. However I did ask my wife to pick up some small floating candles in the hope things might yet go off.

Somewhere in there I took a nice hot bath to cleanse myself and listened to the nightlife through the open bathroom window. As I soaked I keep getting the image of a shape in my mind. It looked almost like an elongated A with what appeared to me to be a burning or glowing serpent figure wrapped about it and running clockwise about the A from top to bottom. At one point I had the impression of a disc that was spinning up and down and riding upon the glowing framework. A little later I sat down at my desk and happened to notice the item that was pictured in the hands of Bast on my desktop. Not quite the same as what I was seeing in my mind but very close.

I went outside abt 11:00 p.m. and noticed the cloud cover had really broken up and the moon was very visible between the occasional clouds that drifted across its face. While the fact the sky was clearing cheered me up the fact my wife was still not home and I had wanted so badly to start much earlier pulled me down. I was disturbed somewhat for I felt inside that the time I had aimed for had past and it was all a waste at this point to really even continue.

Around 11:20 my wife got home and I decided that I would try anyway to see what would happen. I took the statues of Artemis (Ephesos / Agotera / Macedonian), my Canoptic Jar of Bast and my statue of Hekate and went upstairs and washed each one off. I took a single bowl for the floating candle and washed that out as well. With all the pieces in hand I went up into the attic and set up and prepared my area.

In the attic I pulled the center window out so I could look out upon the night landscape. I placed two of the statues upon the window ledge and the remaining three upon the floor. All this was off to my left along with the floating candle. Trying to crunch my self into the small area I settled down and let the night close in upon me.

Yet I really was not happy about it and felt in myself that it was wrong and something was missing. Lots of internal chatter marked the time and helped to create the uncomfortable feeling I was having. Yet I then though about what I had written about just shutting my mouth and listening to the spirit. Not sure how long I was up there though not more than 20 minutes I am sure.

While my eyes beheld the night landscape and even seemed to sink into it a few times nothing really stood out. The one rafter that crossed across my right shoulder that I was pressed against also blocked part of my view. Then I got the impression I needed to go down the birth cannel and step into the night and sit upon the open porch beneath. Of all the things that danced in my head that one of the birth cannel was the clearest and loudest once I stopped talking.

So downstairs I went to sit up my little altar upon the banister of the front porch. All my statuary placed upon the banister as I sat there upon a hay bale. After a few minutes I decided that I should place a single candle upon the banister but before each figurine. 5 figurines, 5 candles for a total of 6 including the floating one did I light. Yet I had only ignited the first candle when a bright light appeared down the valley yet up on the ridgeline. I knew it was a truck up in the woods but the timing just made it seem surreal.

A few minutes later I had all my candles lit and decided to settle upon the deck of the porch and lean back against the hay bale. I suppose I had lost track of time for all of a sudden a loud bang filled the air as some fireworks exploded but no lights to mark the spot. The reverberations rolling down the valley floor and washing over all in its path. Yet almost like a herald did it beacon the ensuing crashes and explosions that went off up the valley with pops and fizzle upon the cold air.

I am not sure one could say anything really happened when I look back upon the night. Yes I watched a number of cars pass before me in the late hours and early hours of the arriving day. Remember thinking that anyone could see me sitting there but really had no care about that fact for I was honoring my gods / goddess. I do remember at a point saying I breathed them into my heart and body then held my breath for a few seconds. Upon releasing the breath I stated that for long shall I hold them in me. Though I have no statues for them I also include Sekor and The Huntsman in that as I have been with them for years also.

For an hour or more did I sit there and listen to the night sounds and let the noises of the mind settle and listen to the words that unfolded. Again the imagery that filled my head earlier in the night while I bathed once again played upon my minds eye. I recall the sound of the winds blowing upon the far ridgeline and the melody of the river across the way rising up to play upon my ears. The barking of dogs that rolled in the night and the sound of something I really have no clue about but yet it clung to my mind. Even the sound of the turkey's that drifted down from the woods above and off to my right.

Closing my eyes and trying to clear my mind and not think at all. Just watching the flames dance upon my eyelids and patterns that would take shape for a moment then twist again. I wondered about the eclipse and suddenly realized it did not matter for it would occur and mark the end of one and the rebirth of another. Like the night before me that marked the end of a year, the end of a decade, the end of a period and heralded the start of a new one. I recall thinking it was man's calendar that marked the time this night not that of the gods / goddesses who knew no such constraints or limits.

Finally with the cold starting to sink into my legs I decided it was time to end the night. I began to blow out each flame and lets the night winds pull the last vestige of smoke and watch it dissipate. After a minute or so I would move to the next. I started with the center figure then worked outward, left then right, and left then right till all that remained was the single candle that floated in the water.

As I pondered that last candle I recall I started to keep the water, as it was holy and blessed by the night. Yet then it occurred to me that that was not the reason I had it there. Once I blew out the last candle and removed the glass it floated upon I took the water and made offerings to each goddess present. Offerings that their lands be always fertile and water present, that the landscape be ever fertile with game and that their lips never be parched. The final drops for myself as I finished up my night.

Upon completion very tired and drained, yet peaceful somehow as well. Yet unlike any other ritual for no callings were done or felt needed. No releasing for it felt unneeded for they are ever present in my life and their influence a constant. Still parts shall continue to unfold for days to come as the finer elements seep into my mind and are sorted or recorded and replayed.

A ceremony of thanks while in the attic that changes the moment I descended to the open aired porch. A night that seemed strong in essence of a death and rebirth of the year, of me, of time itself all rolled into a singular event of cosmic proportion.

And yes, even a night that once seemed as if it would go unborn as I faced the wracks of pain in my body, the uncertainties of the future and the hand of a cruel night that would hide the moon from the land. Yet the pain did pass upon completion of the ceremony, the uncertain future clear for the moment. The moon pushed forth in all its glory as the clouds were parted and the land illuminated in a silver glow. A glow that carried into the night before the sky once again surrendered to the closing clouds that once again masked the face of Selene.