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Hi Crow,

Oh heck no! You never come across as negating anyone's experiences ever. It's what makes you a good teacher.

Awwww thanks! You're sweet.

I do agree with the semantics thing. I think we're both coming from different viewpoints rather than seeing a completely different thing. Since you pointed out the joy in surrender and I saw the ease in effort it's rather like we complimented each other than disagreed.

Yes, I can see that too.

Oh I agree with that, but I am beginning to think that the action can be spontanious and not pre-meditated, forced or contrived. In my case "going with the flow" works better for me than trying to force action I want on my terms.

That's true, it can be, but there are times where effort is employed too. At least in my experience. Going with the flow being the ideal of course but I believe when lessons are needed or we need to step into new comfort zones, past challenges or blockages etc. it does call for effort on our part too---especially if we are resistant.

I still disagree to some extent. I'm not disagreeing in the fact any challenge needs to be met and dealt with, but the word "effort" still implies negative and unnecesary struggle, to me.

Then it's the word itself and the interpretation of it because I didn't intend that it be used in a negative manner at all. More the effort to get up and do something that needs to be done, that's all. This comment of yours reminds me of Earthwalker's challenge in balking at the word 'magic'. She's talked about that a few times over the years. It held such a negative connotation for her too for the longest time.

To use an example: in 1989 my gran was rushed to hospital and we were told she had to be flown out for emergency surgery in two days. Due to the complications of Africa to send her by herself wasn't feasable. Someone would have to go with her. At the time my dad had just had major surgery himself and was needed to stay home to take care of my grandfather who was in the last stages of dying, my aunt had a sick child she couldn't leave behind. That left me or my mom. My mom had health issues herself, but wanted to go. I was healthy, but since it was my mom who dealt with my gran's medical aid (Zimbabwean) and knew all her medical history I'd be in way over my head if I went alone. We figured the most sensible thing was for both of us to go, but we had no money for two plane tickets and not a clue where we'd stay, how we'd get around an unknown city, etc etc. ………..But it had to be done and we were the ones who had to do it. So... we got out of our own way and just did it. We took money out savings... and we got the tickets on a special deal at half price. Everything fell into place. Quite miraculously in places. We just walked out in faith... and the ground was there beneath our feet. That's whatI mean by no effort. Yes, we had tremendous physical effort and even a fight with the airport, which played up about the home flight. Long stupid story, but even then we had all that we needed handed to us as we needed it..... All we had to do was trust and just keep on going. Our needs were met. Our battles were accomplished.

I see. And in that context the term 'no effort' to me would be merely trusting the process, holding faith with it, and walking through it too. So I would agree with all you're saying there.

It was only in the 1990s when we came up against a far bigger battle that we all started to flounder in the faith and trust department. That was due to the misplaced belief that we could make a difference in someone's life by keeping on trying. We put tremendous effort into trying to heal someone, without taking in to consideration that it has to be two-way. You cannot heal someone who refuses to be healed. We were wrong and we allowed this person to erode us. It took ten years to happen and it has taken about seven years extra to heal and deal with that, but we are getting there and getting back onto the path of trust once more.

Nods. Force-feeding or forcing change in others rarely is effective but it's a hard-won lesson most of the time. It doesn't matter if we enter that lesson from the ego or the heart and well-meaning intentions. Unless someone wants to change and sees it for themselves it doesn't happen as a rule---only on the surface and usually for short spans of time if they try at all. Such changed come when the person is ready for them not just because we can see the need for them. We have to stand out of their way then so they can get to the lessons they need so they can see it---hold it. Until then they're full in other ways. It seems this was a rather lengthy healing period for your family too.

Sure. When this first started I blew my top - literally. My blood pressure went sky high and I had a few anxiety attacks. That was in part because I was dealing with the person via email and the person was trying EVERYTHING to somehow make it seem not their fault. I had the whole bag thrown at me. This person is good at verbal manipulation and double-talk and I found dealing with that very stressful. It took great effort to deal with them = my BP went up, I felt terrible. But, looking back now I can see why there was such effort. It was in my thinking. I created the effort/stress myself, by not claiming my own voice and my own rights. THe person made me feel like I was being a big mean nasty by complaining. THey tried to dump all the blame back on me, emotionally... and I fell for it. I felt bad. AS much as I was angry I felt bad for being angry and... not "nice" for wanting justice.

So in that light along Native perspectives you would be standing in the West in this experience---coming from feelings and emotions that (and being an 'experience' it meant a lesson was being presented hands-on) called for you to look at your own reactions (which you obviously did) to understand things. The element of Water was at play for you. To balance heavy Water/emotions we need Air/logic (directly across the Wheel) that is representative of higher consciousness, inspiration and devoid of emotion in lieu of pure logic and abstract thought. When the two are in balance through understanding we can assimilate the situation and do what needs to be done. Nice work Crow! I have to wonder too if part of this whole process isn't part of your transmutation with WhiteCrow? Have you considered that?

So the effort was my lesson and not necessary.

Perhaps it was necessary though? I mean this in the sense that you likely needed to bring that balanced state into play for yourself not just here but in general for the future as a means of responding to similar situations that may take place. Sometimes we think we don't need our lessons but they don't come to us if we don't need them somewhere. Sometimes they are the 'convincers' so to speak. We experience what we need to when we can't gain our understanding by observations or see things from the foundational knowledge we hold at the time. Sometimes it needs to expand just a little more to solidify itself. Once we 'get it' we don't need to repeat the lessons so this may well have been what Jamie Sams calls a 'pop quiz' for you. When we go through spiritual changes (and you're in the midst of that with WhiteCrow Medicine right now) and assimilate them we are tested to see if we will employ the new Medicine understandings we hold, it's how we are guided into honing ourselves and that sure does look like it could be at play for you in this instance. Bringing the spiritual into the mundane is important, and it's important to keep it in our consciousness as we go through the day too. I have to wonder if that's what isn't at play here below the surface?

When I accepted the fact my rights had been violated and I was the victim, not the "bad" person... the stress diminished.

So then part of the lesson was in validation of yourself and your rights to honor your truth. This individual was projecting onto you what they wanted you to believe and spinning illusion so they would not be accountable. You shattered it with that revelation. Nice!

Now that I have to hand it over to lawyers to deal with, because the person still refuses to comply with my demands, I don't feel any stress at all.

Excellent!

I'm quite surprised by that, because I'm afraid I don't like lawyers much. (LOL) I just feel this will play out as it is meant to. I'm stepping out of my own way and doing what needs to be done and not wasting energy on it.

Good for you. (I don't care for legal battles either. ) And while you aren't wasting energy on it anymore, you did need to exert effort to get to that point didn't you? (Dump the negative connotation to the word and replace it with exerting energy if you like, it's basically the same thing from where I stand.)

Oh I love the idea of journalling them. I might try that myself.

I hope you do. I love to see my progress through journals, refresh myself with things where needed. Then there's the little added surprises as to how limited my perceptions may have been at the time I made my notes and how as things unfolded those limitations broke free of their restraints for me to understand things on much deeper levels. The penetrations and layers that reveal themselves over time are so often overlooked otherwise. Journals are valuable tools and validating factors for us if we employ them.