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Beyond Fear
Written by Lotus
Copyright © Lotus
For many of us, our parents were too damaged or distracted by their own pain to give us what we needed most, their love and attention. Like countless others, my home atmosphere was one of abuse instilling in a very small child the word “fear.”
Traumatized by my childhood and teen years, fear was my companion until I reached my late thirties. The time had arrived to face my demons, resolve issues and move forward.
What is fear:
Fear a debilitating emotional behavior that:
F– festers
E - expands
A - alters attitude
R– repeats responses
Fear is a prime motivator and from a very early age fear helps shape our perceptions and determines how we will react in given situations. Young and old, rich and poor, woman, man … each of us experiences the “shadow of fear” and what plagues us most … fear of not knowing the outcome of an action, decision, or relationship.
As we strive to heal the shadows of our life we begin taking better care of ourselves determined to stop punishing, criticizing, and repressing our thoughts and emotions. Nurturing the seasons of our soul, we discover our rhythms, cycles and seasons. We learn to name and confront our “demons," face our pain and walk through the valley of “woundedness,” conquering whatever has kept us prisoner. We also learn about acceptance, and how the act of forgiveness sets us free moving us through passages of abuse, rejection and abandonment.
We have awakened! It becomes clear that love serves the higher purpose of our soul. We are ready to embrace the mysteries of life, say good-by to negative beliefs and behaviors and begin to experience moments of grace and gratitude.
Then the inevitable happens, a fear enters our mind and begins to manifest. We are tempted to believe “now that we’ve connected all the dots,” there should be absence of darker emotions. But of course, life isn’t like that. Even with our best efforts, we will experience a time when the energy of circumstances isn’t right for us. It may be a personal healing process, an unresolved issue, a past wound, the world around us, or perhaps for no reason we can discern. And we learn, even as our spiritual awareness grows, we cannot avoid the hurts of being human. Yet if we can learn to acknowledge and embrace both the light and dark side of our nature, we can move through life giving way to true acceptance of ourselves and of others.
Before dismissing Negative Emotions, be Honest
While it’s true negative emotions, attitudes, thoughts and feelings can throw our spiritual, mental, emotional and physical bodies out of alignment; they are, as Carl Jung states, a vital part of our psychological well-being. Believing in life means to trust the process, be honest and pay attention to what you are experiencing. Difficulty only arises when we repress what we are truly feeling and hide behind a mask … this is what stifles our growth and wisdom.
I’m not suggesting that we should invite more negativity into our life, quite the contrary. I’m proposing we move into what we fear and not away from it, that we meet the shadow side when experiencing a difficult period rather than trying to avoid it. That we acknowledge it, feel it, sit with it, embrace and dance with it, allowing “it” to dissipate into a mist of clarity so that it won’t manifest as disease or some other problem.
When we live each day with an open heart and mind, we enter a realm of balance and peace knowing full well that whatever arrives we will look it straight in the eye, neither “grasping” nor “resisting” but embracing.
It’s Okay not to Know
As most of you know, last November my husband and I decided to move to the mainland. Living closer to our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren filled our hearts with immense joy and excitement. I was thrilled! Upon arriving, you can imagine our shock to discover the building we had chosen to move into was in a state of disarray, and due to circumstances beyond our control we had little choice but to move in. My home, which had always been a peaceful sanctuary, was now a construction site! Along with the never-ending sounds of jack-hammers, electric power drills, saws, compressors, unbelievable delays, inappropriate inspections, paint fumes, workmen, [you get the picture] everywhere turmoil existed and compounding the problems was my health. Frustrated and running out of patience, it was difficult to remain in a state of calm.
Mindful of how to redirect negative energy, that didn’t stop me from having what I call a “melt-down.” My energy depleted I was exhausted and teary-eyed, battling with the constant challenges. When would this nightmare be over I wondered. I was aware harmony was within reach but I had entered a stage of fear. In the back of my mind I knew what was needed, time and practice had taught me well but where would I find the peace and quiet I so desperately needed to listen. I found myself struggling to remain calm until I chose to engage with what was going on. Looking at my situation with complete honesty it was time to stop resisting and experience what I was feeling. As the saying goes, “let it all hang out,” and so I did!
As the poet Rilke says, "What fights with us is so great.” Reclaiming my power I found refuge during the wee hours of each morning. Before the sun had time to rise, silence ruled and I had time to sit with Spirit. Days became weeks, weeks became months and with each passing day, I sat quietly not asking or questioning but simply being. Learning to see my adventure with quiet understanding challenged every fiber of my being but I knew in time there would be an outcome for the truth about life is that everything passes and life does change. And so I chose to draw closer to what I was feeling rather than run.
Seven months later, a workman couldn’t be found. No more pounding, paint fumes, sand or dust. I could use the elevator, sit out on the patio and enjoy the beautiful mountain-view, open and close the verticals, see out the windows, take a bath, cook without the alarm screeching, wash and dry clothes, and best of all, the power of stillness had returned!
Sometimes we forget to embrace what we fear choosing to run rather than reap the benefits of facing the challenge. Who we become, how we grow, change and face the challenges of our lives, is intimately connected to accepting all parts of our selves. Listening and becoming sensitive to our needs restores our natural balance. Learning to release all the blocks that stand in our way including the “shadow” parts is empowering and freeing.
Light versus Dark ~ conclusion
The call to pay attention and address our fears is beyond question and it becomes clear that the Shadow part of our being holds significant positive features and needs assimilation not rejection. But wait a moment, here we are discussing how to work on and integrate our fears yet I can’t help but wonder do we resist the noble aspects of our character more strenuously than the dark sides? Do we dismiss the light we radiate outward, forgetting the beauty of our soul presence or the ember that glows within us? Are we quicker to judge or blame rather than embrace and love our selves?
To own one’s shadow consists of embracing not only aspects of our character that have not been given a conscious place in our life but to also embrace the light and love we exemplify. Within each of us lies the power to be all we can be. Honor and embrace all that you are and remember there will be an outcome for the truth about life is that everything passes and life does change!
Lotus
We are forever in transition - Lotus
Written by Lotus
Copyright © Lotus
For many of us, our parents were too damaged or distracted by their own pain to give us what we needed most, their love and attention. Like countless others, my home atmosphere was one of abuse instilling in a very small child the word “fear.”
Traumatized by my childhood and teen years, fear was my companion until I reached my late thirties. The time had arrived to face my demons, resolve issues and move forward.
What is fear:
Fear a debilitating emotional behavior that:
F– festers
E - expands
A - alters attitude
R– repeats responses
Fear is a prime motivator and from a very early age fear helps shape our perceptions and determines how we will react in given situations. Young and old, rich and poor, woman, man … each of us experiences the “shadow of fear” and what plagues us most … fear of not knowing the outcome of an action, decision, or relationship.
As we strive to heal the shadows of our life we begin taking better care of ourselves determined to stop punishing, criticizing, and repressing our thoughts and emotions. Nurturing the seasons of our soul, we discover our rhythms, cycles and seasons. We learn to name and confront our “demons," face our pain and walk through the valley of “woundedness,” conquering whatever has kept us prisoner. We also learn about acceptance, and how the act of forgiveness sets us free moving us through passages of abuse, rejection and abandonment.
We have awakened! It becomes clear that love serves the higher purpose of our soul. We are ready to embrace the mysteries of life, say good-by to negative beliefs and behaviors and begin to experience moments of grace and gratitude.
Then the inevitable happens, a fear enters our mind and begins to manifest. We are tempted to believe “now that we’ve connected all the dots,” there should be absence of darker emotions. But of course, life isn’t like that. Even with our best efforts, we will experience a time when the energy of circumstances isn’t right for us. It may be a personal healing process, an unresolved issue, a past wound, the world around us, or perhaps for no reason we can discern. And we learn, even as our spiritual awareness grows, we cannot avoid the hurts of being human. Yet if we can learn to acknowledge and embrace both the light and dark side of our nature, we can move through life giving way to true acceptance of ourselves and of others.
Before dismissing Negative Emotions, be Honest
While it’s true negative emotions, attitudes, thoughts and feelings can throw our spiritual, mental, emotional and physical bodies out of alignment; they are, as Carl Jung states, a vital part of our psychological well-being. Believing in life means to trust the process, be honest and pay attention to what you are experiencing. Difficulty only arises when we repress what we are truly feeling and hide behind a mask … this is what stifles our growth and wisdom.
I’m not suggesting that we should invite more negativity into our life, quite the contrary. I’m proposing we move into what we fear and not away from it, that we meet the shadow side when experiencing a difficult period rather than trying to avoid it. That we acknowledge it, feel it, sit with it, embrace and dance with it, allowing “it” to dissipate into a mist of clarity so that it won’t manifest as disease or some other problem.
When we live each day with an open heart and mind, we enter a realm of balance and peace knowing full well that whatever arrives we will look it straight in the eye, neither “grasping” nor “resisting” but embracing.
It’s Okay not to Know
As most of you know, last November my husband and I decided to move to the mainland. Living closer to our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren filled our hearts with immense joy and excitement. I was thrilled! Upon arriving, you can imagine our shock to discover the building we had chosen to move into was in a state of disarray, and due to circumstances beyond our control we had little choice but to move in. My home, which had always been a peaceful sanctuary, was now a construction site! Along with the never-ending sounds of jack-hammers, electric power drills, saws, compressors, unbelievable delays, inappropriate inspections, paint fumes, workmen, [you get the picture] everywhere turmoil existed and compounding the problems was my health. Frustrated and running out of patience, it was difficult to remain in a state of calm.
Mindful of how to redirect negative energy, that didn’t stop me from having what I call a “melt-down.” My energy depleted I was exhausted and teary-eyed, battling with the constant challenges. When would this nightmare be over I wondered. I was aware harmony was within reach but I had entered a stage of fear. In the back of my mind I knew what was needed, time and practice had taught me well but where would I find the peace and quiet I so desperately needed to listen. I found myself struggling to remain calm until I chose to engage with what was going on. Looking at my situation with complete honesty it was time to stop resisting and experience what I was feeling. As the saying goes, “let it all hang out,” and so I did!
As the poet Rilke says, "What fights with us is so great.” Reclaiming my power I found refuge during the wee hours of each morning. Before the sun had time to rise, silence ruled and I had time to sit with Spirit. Days became weeks, weeks became months and with each passing day, I sat quietly not asking or questioning but simply being. Learning to see my adventure with quiet understanding challenged every fiber of my being but I knew in time there would be an outcome for the truth about life is that everything passes and life does change. And so I chose to draw closer to what I was feeling rather than run.
Seven months later, a workman couldn’t be found. No more pounding, paint fumes, sand or dust. I could use the elevator, sit out on the patio and enjoy the beautiful mountain-view, open and close the verticals, see out the windows, take a bath, cook without the alarm screeching, wash and dry clothes, and best of all, the power of stillness had returned!
Sometimes we forget to embrace what we fear choosing to run rather than reap the benefits of facing the challenge. Who we become, how we grow, change and face the challenges of our lives, is intimately connected to accepting all parts of our selves. Listening and becoming sensitive to our needs restores our natural balance. Learning to release all the blocks that stand in our way including the “shadow” parts is empowering and freeing.
Light versus Dark ~ conclusion
The call to pay attention and address our fears is beyond question and it becomes clear that the Shadow part of our being holds significant positive features and needs assimilation not rejection. But wait a moment, here we are discussing how to work on and integrate our fears yet I can’t help but wonder do we resist the noble aspects of our character more strenuously than the dark sides? Do we dismiss the light we radiate outward, forgetting the beauty of our soul presence or the ember that glows within us? Are we quicker to judge or blame rather than embrace and love our selves?
To own one’s shadow consists of embracing not only aspects of our character that have not been given a conscious place in our life but to also embrace the light and love we exemplify. Within each of us lies the power to be all we can be. Honor and embrace all that you are and remember there will be an outcome for the truth about life is that everything passes and life does change!
LotusWe are forever in transition - Lotus
