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wynsong7	My Journey		Lead	[-]
Posts: 1127 Apr 12, 2008 09:36:17 Honored Member	Tags : None I realised today, after a few emails, that I have been sharing the updates about the physical manifestations of my journey, but not the journey itself...and it is really what it is all about... So here is the email I sent, and my gratitude to each of you, who has helped/is helping me make this journey... Munay Ki Pen This journey has never been about the cancer... This journey is about me choosing LIFE. I was given that opportunity by Spirit, before I even knew there was a problem looming in my health horizon. I was asked (as I brushed my teeth...some of you will know that that is when this kind of thing tends to happen to me...when I'm half asleep/half awake, with a quiet mind, doing something mindless like brushing my teeth)... this morning...2-3 hours before I was even called to say...Oh, Oh...we really need to take another look... I was told by a voice in my head...(and this time it wasn't a version of my own voice) "You have the opportunity to check out now if you want!" It was a calm, quiet voice...and that is all it said... I immediately woke up fully and believe I might have actually replied out loud... "NO! I want to LIVE!" Which led me to thinking... Well if I want to live...what am I doing now? AND so the journey began... Before I went to see the surgeon yesterday... I was writing in my journal...doing a trip down the stories that I keep, even without consciously remembering or knowing that I do it...about my journey through Chronic Pain... I was doing it, because my eldest son is in a bad way in that regard...worse I believe that I ever was at his age...and we are waiting to see a neurosurgeon...and I use that we...rather liberally, as I am only a spectator to his life...by his request...as he negotiates dreaming his own reality into being. And it is hard to not step into a person's dreaming, especially one you love with your whole being...and not try to help them dream the future you hope for them into being... REALLY HARD.... So that led to a series of journals by me...as I realized, that while I treat people with Chronic Pain in my office daily...the main tools I use to do it, I was withholding from using with me son...which is...I tell them stories... So I started to tell my stories...and of course...as much healing for me, is occurring as there is potential for him to find a seed in those journals that he might want to plant for himself... (And to be truthful...he is not the only member of my family, that suffers from chronic debilitating pain... so this is really a familial trait....and I am just as likely not to tell my stories to my other family members too...I don't know...it is like a family silence) Anyway...background filled in, on the last journal I wrote... the day before I saw my surgeon... I ended on a journey statement...that said... I enjoy life loved and alive! That is not something I chose to say...that was a finding...as I was writing my story...as I was journeying my life...I again affirmed... I WANT TO LIVE!, except ...you see....it has already morphed... It isn't about wanting anymore.... I AM living my LIFE..... and I am feeling loved and I admit...that I'm still working on what feeling alive means to me...I'm thinking I could exclude pain as an indicator...and it would be okay AND each of you... Each of you, has helped me shed a really old story that lived in me around being lovable. About who I need to be to be lovable. Many of you will not understand this next piece, because you don't even know about my mesa... But all of the south stones in my mesa have left... The old stories...don't hold me anymore... The wounding is gone and doesn't need a stone to hold it for me. EACH one of you, no matter how frustrated you are, not to be able to reach into my life and fix the physical manifestations of what my journey is now.... EACH ONE OF YOU, has been helping me, and is helping me NOW with your LOVE every day... I get teary as I write that... So know...that you are a part of my healing. And the journey continues...I can't take a breath that isn't relative to this journey of LIFE right now...and it is all good. Munay Ki Pen Your Signature ...
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CinnamonMoon		#1	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1272 Apr 12, 2008 12:13:44 Admin/ Board Founder	Wynsong, that is so eloquently expressed! I do know, as others here do too, what it is like to be confronted with the choice to stay or go...the choice to live...a time of the shamanic death and rebirth that cannot be denied. And in my experience with that it was my Inner Spirit that answered the question, not 'me' in the sense of my human self. I chose life too, knowing there was more for me to do, I felt that even if I couldn't name what it was at the time. My life has not been the same since then but the changes I passed through were deeply challenging and made it better in the end, actually brought forth blessings I dared not dream possible. You've made the choice and that makes the difference. It's an honor to walk with you as you embrace the challenge to do just this. You will triumph, you will live to touch others, and in the best of ways. You'll live to Dance and celebrate life to its fullest because you so chose. The beauty of your spirit shines through. Honoring your son's journey, his free will to choose how to walk his path, and sharing with him your own is so important. The family matter of chronic pain is challenged with you to overcome it and break free of the restraints it holds...to break the chain once and for all. Perhaps your son to walk at your side and do the same...it seems so. Bless you both for your willingness to find the courage and strength to meet these challenges. That isn't easy, but once done it's amazing what transformations can come into being. ~Wan-Tanna-Hey: "Walk In Peace With Spirit"~ ~To Be A Feather In Spirit's Wing~
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Eagle Singing		#2	[url]	[-]
Posts: 788 Apr 12, 2008 23:44:29 Honored Senior Member	(((Wynsong))) I admire your courage to take the shift from focusing on the physical manifestation to the journey - it speaks to me as stepping away from behind the mask we find ourselves hiding behind (naming and trying to figure out the tangible) and instead focusing on the intricacies of the steps we take, one at a time, of our journey - and that is where the magic begins, I believe. This is a bold and courageous step, one that (for me anyway) is hard to do most of the time. Oh, I'll eventually get there.....somehow and certainly not always consciously as you've done. Your journey at this time is filled with deep issues that have risen to the surface and are staring at you, challenging you to honor them and transform them, and through the transformation you will acquire and hone your Medicine and ability to heal even more profoundly than you already do. Munay Ki EagleSinging
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Speaking Clouds		#3	[url]	[-]
Posts: 20 Apr 13, 2008 10:07:35	So glad that you are one of the people here for me . Thank you for relating your Journey so far.
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mouse		#4	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1719 Apr 13, 2008 13:13:50 Technical Support	"I want to LIVE!" How powerful an affirmation and decision! I AM living my LIFE..... WOO!! Yeah! The intent and action!
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wynsong7		#5	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1129 Apr 17, 2008 11:34:12 Honored Member	First off... New dates... My next surgery is set for April 28th at 12:30 EDT...and I would be appreciative of all energy held for a successful surgery that leaves me with a full range of motion in the right arm and my neck, and minimal adhesions or nerve involvement. My surgeon is awesome...extremely caring and talented...and it never hurts to have a little help around the energetics. I'm in the line up for an appointment with the medical oncologist. My cousin, who is the nurse manager ofr the Cancer Suite at our Cancer Clinic, has requested a doctor that she says is good, but more importantly, he has an excellent nurse. So I'm just waiting to hear the "when" on that....and my cousin will be coming with me to that appointment, so she can ask all the good questions, I haven't even thought of yet. My son's appointment is on the 24th with the neurosurgeon, and I'll be able to attend that still...which makes me very happy. ((((Cinn))))...thank you for your words and experience. I have a friend who practices shamanic healing full time(she and I were assistants (and roomies),together with Alberto Villoldo's 2 year program and she insists that Spirit has a plan for me, and it is already in progress... Maybe! I expect so, because in essence I think Spirit is always calling to all of us... .... Her exact words were ..."Spirit has you by the short and curlies, my dear."... (very definitely an ex cop).... My reply to her was...."Well maybe, but I have scissors in my hand." And to be truthful, I expect that Spirit will not challenge me to use my scissors, but that it will be other people dreaming my future into being for me, that I need to watch....people who are trying to write me into their stories. I don't have a sense that I need to do anything more powerful than journey my own life fully...I have no sense of anything that is being asked of me, beyond that. I realize that some people will be effected by my journey...but I am so very aware, that that isn't my job...it is theirs... So, I've died a bunch of times consciously in the last decade...I guess I'll be dying a bunch more times too, before I actually drop my robes...(One can hope anyway.)....I'm working on making sure that there is nothing left undone in my own experience of this life, before I actually drop my robes...and I'm at the stage of ..."So what does that actually mean to me"...and of "stepping into the opportunities that Spirit seems to be presenting to me daily". So it is all good...if not always all fun. And my son...bless his soul and heart...he is plugging along, with how he thinks he should be living...while he waits for his appointment with the neurosurgeon.... I know that journey, and the landscape of the "Waiting Place", very well....so I'll be there if he calls me....and I'll trust him to call me, if he wants me. Thank you ((((EagleSinging)))) and ((((Speaking Clouds))))...I am gratefull to have you both with me on this earth walk... It is a gift that you share of yourselves and your journeys so freely, that I might listen and find myself within them. Thank you. Ahhh ((((Mouse))))....thank you....remind me again and again, please; of what I chose...it is so easy to roll over and hit the snooze button. I would post that on every cupboard door and mirror in my world...instead I will post what you have written on my heart, I shall hold it in my belly, and I will look out at the world through lense coloured by that intent and action. Thank you for your clarity. Munay Ki Your Signature ...
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cedar		#6	[url]	[-]
Posts: 270 Apr 17, 2008 12:15:01 Aka Mouse Tech Admin	((((Wynsong)))) Drive-by Mouse
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SwanFeather		#7	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1133 Apr 17, 2008 13:18:43 Honored Senior Member	but that it will be other people dreaming my future into being for me, that I need to watch....people who are trying to write me into their stories. I don't have a sense that I need to do anything more powerful than journey my own life fully...I have no sense of anything that is being asked of me, beyond that. I realize that some people will be effected by my journey...but I am so very aware, that that isn't my job...it is theirs... Good. I was speaking to someone just yesterday about this exactly - the woman whose house burned down last week. She has come to this through Al-Anon work. She's a devoted "program" person. Just...good. And much love... "A Fox is a Wolf who sends flowers." - Ruth Weston
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CinnamonMoon		#8	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1291 Apr 17, 2008 17:11:15 Admin/ Board Founder	(((Wynsong))) You know just watching as you take your steps is encouraging and empowering. Thank you for being open enough to share it with us. It's a beautiful balance you've found and I know that was not easy. I'm sure your friend is right, Spirit does have a plan for you. Don't reach for the scissors. When our path unfolds like this the 'plan' is always relative to what we learn as we pass through our challenges, and what we can see we've learned once on the other side of them. Then we can take that knowledge, skill, information or whathaveyou and pass it on to others who are facing similar things in their lives. It becomes a part of what we have to share or do in th life. And to remember to keep your sense of humor, which you seem to be doing. Laughter is good Medicine. I agree, we do need to watch what others dry to Dream for our futures or how they want to weave us into their stories and we have to continue on our paths with conviction regardless of what they may or may not think.It is an honor to witness your conduct and thoughts as you make your way along this portion of your journey. It's also a beautiful thing to see you can be there for your son as he explores his path, and have the understanding you do about the process. He's a lucky young man. ~Wan-Tanna-Hey: "Walk In Peace With Spirit"~ ~To Be A Feather In Spirit's Wing~
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Eagle Singing		#9	[url]	[-]
Posts: 793 Apr 17, 2008 22:29:54 Honored Senior Member	(((Wyn))) .....it will be other people dreaming my future into being for me, that I need to watch....people who are trying to write me into their stories. I remember that it was not long ago when I lived my life allowing this to happen time and time again and it was when I resisted for the first time as an adult, in my mid-30s having of course tried so many times as a teenager that the most painful experiences of my life revolved just around that. I remember the pain so clearly of trying to not be confined by others stories for me and the resistance and struggle to free myself of them...... and I then I saw how I did that to others....wrote them into my stories....and the pain intensified and became the worst pain I'd experienced as I began to take the initial steps to see me without seeing them (in my stories). I know I'm rambling; I hope not too far astray. I admire how you see these points of distinction and how you navigate and explore them and live your life resonating the truths you discover about your Self and the path you've walked. I have no doubt, no doubt at all, that Spirit is preparing you for the gifts you will be called to share as you continue to touch lives so profoundly and yet in a new way. You are a healer, Wynsong. You are a beautiful healer. And I believe you are being prepared to reach new depths and new breadths. It is hard to watch our children go through experiences we've had, similar yet different experiences of course. The wisdom and clarity of having recently walked this path allows you to give him the space and time he needs as he is in the "Waiting Place." He is so fortunate to have you in his life; him being able to watch you walk your path is likely more meaningful to him than he can find words to express. Munay Ki, Wyn. EagleSinging
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cedar		#10	[url]	[-]
Posts: 271 Apr 18, 2008 01:49:34 Aka Mouse Tech Admin	whispers .....it will be other people dreaming my future into being for me, that I need to watch....people who are trying to write me into their stories. And that will likely continue to happen however it is said or done or whatever is asked of others. The challenge is to allow others to have their stories knowing we are not victim to others' stories, knowing we are not at the mercy of others' stories; believing that someone or something outside us is more powerful than we are is our own story. Drive-by Mouse Last Edited By: cedar Apr 18, 2008 02:01:34. Edited 1 time.
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wynsong7		#11	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1130 Apr 18, 2008 07:48:26 Honored Member	Exactly (((((Mouse)))), Exactly.... Thanks ((((Cinn))))...I hope one day that my son tells a story that he was lucky...it appears he is a ways from that at this moment. And Yes EagleSinging, it is hard to resist accepting a role in someone else's story (especially when they offer me a juicy role), and even more amazing when I recognize that I am author and director myself...and that the stories I weave for my version of reality, may only include caricatures of the people who I have chosen to play the roles. It is why I so love the analogy of the Peruvian people to life as a weaving...I think the Fates were also weaving life. And it is all story, after all. Munay Ki Your Signature ...
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enlightenment advisor	I found my way in the light of darkness	#12	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1 Apr 18, 2008 16:35:49	Back in 2006, my ovarian cyst burst wide open and enabled me to understand further what a weak body can do to a sound mind. I was not the best eater, nor a vicious exerciser BUT I did not want anymore pain, certainly did not want surgical intervention and told my gyno I would not die in a few months just because he would not open me up and remove my defective reproductive organ. I meditated, went to my step-mom for a Reiki attunement, practised herbal therapy and discovered my 'healing' gift was stronger than I ever gave it credit. I had ideas about getting well and you are not going to believe where these ideas originated from . . . Some of my best ideas are discovered in my dreams. I kid you not, really the best content for both fiction and non-fiction material, creatively expressed verbally seems to come to life visually in dreams. The REM sleep cycle is highly productive. I am certain, for me, it fuels much of the artists passion when she or he taps into that strange but fascinating realm of sleep. In my case it taught me about what my body would and would not tolerate. I found my way towards better health during the darkest hours. I find that whatever comes to mind, write it down then sit an hour later and remove those that would make terrible subjects of interests and narrow it down. You will be amazed at what comes through. If your not a dreamer, nor believer in messages or ideas from non-physical realms of existence, then try absorbing ideas from sitting in a garden, field, wooded lot, downtown subway, in your car, cooking dinner, ... well what am I telling you about those ideas, if you are a writer these are common areas you have already received a transfusion from. But where else? "There exists a fundamental oneness to all of life and the universe itself. I encourage & understand seeking truth. There is an emphasis on those particular things that awaken our souls." It serves me better in fulfilling my personal potential by incorporating illogical dissertations, unusual circumstances, weird feelings and out-of-the-ordinary realizations, to create a very interesting Akashic record painted across the skiens of time. . . I encourage discovering and then nurturing the whole person through investigating and analyzing the separate connections between Mind, Body and Spirit. " Our essential nature is spiritual but our ego does not follow an 'essence pattern', it is much to "human", stubborn perhaps erratic. This brings us to consciousness which the ego loves--a less multidimensional, rather ordinary consciousness that we experience most of the time is simply the outward tip of consciousness. Contacting a deeper source of wisdom and guidance within is both possible and helpful to growth". The journey towards better health, mine, is still continuing because the cyst is still present, only thankfully, smaller. A better diet void of white processed refined sugar and flour, no salt, plenty of vegetables of various colors and NO MEAT cept turkey. I don't suggest soy unless you don't produce too much estrogen, otherwise it is healthy, full of vitamins and better than any cows' milk. The journey is very enriching, long and constantly taking twists and turns, but these are good twists and turns and my compass is not too rusty . . . sharing the light, Miss Erica Hidvegi, the Enlightenment_Advisor, B.A. Psych/M.A. Transpersonal Studies- Cnslng/Author, Artist, Photographer, Entrepreneur & Freelance extraordinaire Last Edited By: cedar Apr 18, 2008 18:00:12. Edited 1 time.
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CinnamonMoon		#13	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1297 Apr 18, 2008 21:52:08 Admin/ Board Founder	Hi Erica! I'm glad to see you found your way to posting. It's great to have you with us, please make yourself at home. ~Wan-Tanna-Hey: "Walk In Peace With Spirit"~ ~To Be A Feather In Spirit's Wing~
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wynsong7		#14	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1135 May 8, 2008 13:12:10 Honored Member	Okay...new break through... It isn't about living my life anymore... It is about Living ME. I AM LIVING ME. Link to my journal...if you need to read the how it came to be... http://wynsong.livejournal.com/ Munay Ki Your Signature ...
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Eagle Singing		#15	[url]	[-]
Posts: 831 May 8, 2008 21:10:12 Honored Senior Member	Do'in a BIG Dance! I'm hopping over to your journal!
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CinnamonMoon		#16	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1352 May 8, 2008 23:35:48 Admin/ Board Founder	Go Wynsong! I'll join that happy dance for you. And then some! ~Wan-Tanna-Hey: "Walk In Peace With Spirit"~ ~To Be A Feather In Spirit's Wing~
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Eagle Singing		#17	[url]	[-]
Posts: 832 May 9, 2008 00:11:51 Honored Senior Member	And....I see that just as you step into living you now, life has a way of seeing to it that you embrace your new journey of living you now. (((Wyn))) And, yes, sometimes on the surface life still seems to be as it was in High School......Many people still do, always will, live on the surface out of touch with their wholeness. To be so shallow leaves one empty, I believe. Munay Ki, my friend
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wynsong7		#18	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1137 May 9, 2008 07:46:19 Honored Member	It is too funny that just as I finished that journey...about 5 entries worth...the High School thing came along to see if I would truly live all of me in the now. My ex called late last night and apologized for the entire thing, when he, himself had nothing to do with it. I felt badly for him. I had forgotten that I'd linked my journal here, after I'd changed my journey statement....so for those of you, who don't know just how passionately I can express myself, when I'm not happy...the journey statement evolved form the entries May 8 at 11:49 a.m. to the one completed a 13:54.... The one at 16:50 was just the Universe wanting to know if I was serious about living all of me all the time....Will I be strong and keep my hurt inside...or will I live my hurt as fully as I live my strength.... I did a bit of both...but not in my journal....In my journal I let fly with my full hurt, anger and as someone on another forum called ...an elephant stomp dance. And now it is over. Bob and I will attend the celebration tonight, separately...and we will both be fine with it. And later, when he isn't being tossed around by the storm, we will talk about what the two of us can do, so that the three of us can co-exist in the same universe. Munay Ki Your Signature ...
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CinnamonMoon		#19	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1354 May 9, 2008 16:06:25 Admin/ Board Founder	Good for you, Wynsong! ~Wan-Tanna-Hey: "Walk In Peace With Spirit"~ ~To Be A Feather In Spirit's Wing~
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Chaile Divine		#20	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1 May 9, 2008 17:02:53	Very encouraging and inspiring. I too am learning that choosing life makes a world of difference. Best wishes on your journey.
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