I got my new eyeglasses yesterday afternoon. The day before, when the other pair broke, I had to go through the day without them, and I did quite well (considering) until in the afternoon when I had to type-write information onto a Blumberg legal form.
I had to hold my face so close to the typewriter that if I stuck my tongue out I would have been able to lick the keyboard. Then, when I was copying information from a draft, I kept having to pick up the paper and hold it inches from my face to see the small type.
Suddenly the magnitude of my vision loss crashed upon me. I've been so dependant and accustomed to having my eyeglasses all the time that I haven't gotten a chance until then to realize exactly what condition my eyesight is in. I burst into tears. Quiet tears. I pulled myself together and continued my work, then broke down again. And again. And again. I was having a problem letting go of the emotion because it was just flowing like an ocean making huge unavoidable waves. I had a lot of difficulty controlling it since I couldn't just "shut it off." I think the emotions behind my issue surfacing as they did was long overdue. Yesterday morning I looked for the article to review it, and couldn't find it.
I'm okay now. It wasn't too hard to accept the optomotrist telling me yesterday that I am at End Stage Glaucoma. Maybe I just threw that into the Basement so quickly to avoid dwelling on it. Maybe I've really accepted it and let it go. I can't tell.
Is the article gone?




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