Beyond Fear


08 Aug 2005, 23:15 #1

Beyond Fear
Written by Lotus

Copyright © Lotus
For many of
us, our parents were too damaged or distracted by their
own pain to give us what we needed most, their love and
attention. Like countless others, my home atmosphere was
one of abuse instilling in a very small child the word
Traumatized by
my childhood and teen years, fear was my companion until
I reached my late thirties. The time had arrived to face
my demons, resolve issues and move forward.
What is

Fear a debilitating emotional
behavior that:
F– festers
E - expands
A - alters attitude
R– repeats responses
Fear is a prime motivator and from a very
early age fear helps shape our perceptions and determines
how we will react in given situations. Young and old,
rich and poor, woman, man … each of us experiences
the “shadow of fear” and what plagues us most
… fear of not knowing the outcome of an action,
decision, or relationship.
As we
strive to heal the shadows of our life we begin taking
better care of ourselves determined to stop punishing,
criticizing, and repressing our thoughts and emotions.
Nurturing the seasons of our soul, we discover our
rhythms, cycles and seasons. We learn to name and
confront our “demons," face our pain and
walk through the valley of “woundedness,”
conquering whatever has kept us prisoner. We also learn
about acceptance, and how the act of forgiveness sets us
free moving us through passages of abuse, rejection and
We have awakened! It
becomes clear that love serves the higher purpose of our
soul. We are ready to embrace the mysteries of life, say
good-by to negative beliefs and behaviors and begin to
experience moments of grace and gratitude.
Then the inevitable happens, a fear enters our
mind and begins to manifest. We are tempted to believe
that we’ve connected all the

there should be absence of darker emotions. But of
course, life isn’t like that. Even with our best
efforts, we will experience a time when the energy of
circumstances isn’t right for us. It may be a
personal healing process, an unresolved issue, a past
wound, the world around us, or perhaps for no reason we
can discern. And we learn, even as our spiritual
awareness grows, we cannot avoid the hurts of being
human. Yet if we can learn to acknowledge and embrace
both the light and dark side of our nature, we can move
through life giving way to true acceptance of ourselves
and of others.
Before dismissing Negative
Emotions, be Honest

While it’s true negative
emotions, attitudes, thoughts and feelings can throw our
spiritual, mental, emotional and physical bodies out of
alignment; they are, as Carl Jung states, a vital part of
our psychological well-being. Believing in life means to
trust the process, be honest and pay attention to what
you are experiencing. Difficulty only arises when we
repress what we are truly feeling and hide behind a mask
… this is what stifles our growth and
I’m not suggesting
that we should invite more negativity into our life,
quite the contrary. I’m proposing we move into what
we fear and not away from it, that we meet the shadow
side when experiencing a difficult period rather than
trying to avoid it. That we acknowledge it, feel it, sit
with it, embrace and dance with it, allowing
“it” to dissipate into a mist of clarity so
that it won’t manifest as disease or some other
When we live each day with
an open heart and mind, we enter a realm of balance and
peace knowing full well that whatever arrives we will
look it straight in the eye, neither
“grasping” nor “resisting” but
It’s Okay not to

As most of you know, last November my husband
and I decided to move to the mainland. Living closer to
our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren
filled our hearts with immense joy and excitement. I was
thrilled! Upon arriving, you can imagine our shock to
discover the building we had chosen to move into was in a
state of disarray, and due to circumstances beyond our
control we had little choice but to move in. My home,
which had always been a peaceful sanctuary, was now a
construction site! Along with the never-ending sounds of
jack-hammers, electric power drills, saws, compressors,
unbelievable delays, inappropriate inspections, paint
fumes, workmen, [you get the picture] everywhere turmoil
existed and compounding the problems was my health.
Frustrated and running out of patience, it was difficult
to remain in a state of calm.

Mindful of how to redirect negative energy, that
didn’t stop me from having what I call a
“melt-down.” My energy depleted I was
exhausted and teary-eyed, battling with the constant
challenges. When would this nightmare be over I wondered.
I was aware harmony was within reach but I had entered a
stage of fear. In the back of my mind I knew what was
needed, time and practice had taught me well but where
would I find the peace and quiet I so desperately needed
to listen. I found myself struggling to remain calm until
I chose to engage with what was going on. Looking at my
situation with complete honesty it was time to stop
resisting and experience what I was feeling. As the
saying goes, “let it all hang out,” and so I
As the poet Rilke says,
"What fights with us is so great.”
Reclaiming my power I found refuge during the wee hours
of each morning. Before the sun had time to rise, silence
ruled and I had time to sit with Spirit. Days became
weeks, weeks became months and with each passing day, I
sat quietly not asking or questioning but simply being.
Learning to see my adventure with quiet understanding
challenged every fiber of my being but I knew in time
there would be an outcome for the truth about life is
that everything passes and life does change. And so I
chose to draw closer to what I was feeling rather than
Seven months later, a workman
couldn’t be found. No more pounding, paint fumes,
sand or dust. I could use the elevator, sit out on the
patio and enjoy the beautiful mountain-view, open and
close the verticals, see out the windows, take a bath,
cook without the alarm screeching, wash and dry clothes,
and best of all, the power of stillness had returned!

Sometimes we forget to embrace what we fear
choosing to run rather than reap the benefits of facing
the challenge. Who we become, how we grow, change and
face the challenges of our lives, is intimately connected
to accepting all parts of our selves. Listening and
becoming sensitive to our needs restores our natural
balance. Learning to release all the blocks that stand in
our way including the “shadow” parts is
empowering and freeing.
Light versus
Dark ~ conclusion

The call to pay attention and address
our fears is beyond question and it becomes clear that
the Shadow part of our being holds significant positive
features and needs assimilation not rejection. But wait a
moment, here we are discussing how to work on and
integrate our fears yet I can’t help but wonder do
we resist the noble aspects of our character more
strenuously than the dark sides? Do we dismiss the light
we radiate outward, forgetting the beauty of our soul
presence or the ember that glows within us? Are we
quicker to judge or blame rather than embrace and love
our selves?
To own one’s
shadow consists of embracing not only aspects of our
character that have not been given a conscious place in
our life but to also embrace the light and love we
exemplify. Within each of us lies the power to be all we
can be. Honor and embrace all that you are and remember
there will be an outcome for the truth about life is that
everything passes and life does change!
We are forever in transition -

Honored New Member
Joined: 24 Jun 2005, 09:33

09 Aug 2005, 00:27 #2

Thank you Lotus....this is something I needed to
read and this is something I need to work on.